last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
