your room smells of hookers.
And success
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
