My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
