I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she told me i tasted like america
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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