we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
