Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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