Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
