Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm just crazy horny about you
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
