I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
