We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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