he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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