My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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