Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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