I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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