Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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