I just made out with a guy for $7.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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