New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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