My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
