my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
