i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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