Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
