I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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