Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i came on her dog
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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