I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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