Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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