but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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