You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
