that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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