then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
