8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
