i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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