what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Small penises have feelings too.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
