That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
