Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
