I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
