it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
