I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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