That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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