what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
