If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
