I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
