Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
