How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
