Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
