just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
