worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
