He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just invented taco cereal.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
