# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
