I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
