i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
